Why work for a living

Got off to a good start after high school as went to Vanderbilt University which is a top ranked school. And despite diverging after by enlisting in US Army, I did become a military officer later with a direct commission.

Then my life felt like went off the rails. A racist officer deliberately smeared me on an officer evaluation among other things accusing me of hitting on his buddy's girlfriend. His buddy it turned out was the civilian Radiation Safety Officer whose girlfriend was the head of the Mammography Department!

I once asked her to lunch in the hospital cafeteria. Was a friendly gesture. She declined. I thought nothing of it. My job back then was inspecting all radioactive emitting devices including in her department.

But was accused of hitting on her in an evaluation that read like a soap opera. So I appealed, got a JAG attorney who just really shrugged and said he could get away with it. And the US Army separated me but thankfully with an honorable discharge.

So much for claims of US Army about fairness and am not mad now. That was nearly thirty years ago. But my faith was shaken. I would trust American systems, no more.

Am glad I learned that lesson! In recent times a pandemic has been badly handled. Has killed and killed but people keep being told is managed. Are pressured to go back to work if managed to leave to be safer.

The pandemic virus causes brain damage and actually shrinks brains. Is airborne spreading when people talk! Governments have resisted telling those details though. I know is fear of additional government regulations, like for clean air or rights of workers.

The talk of our nation is one thing but like I learned with US Army, you cannot trust that.

But work is necessity. My work life went off the rails. That distrust I learned was not helpful for stability. But was great for personal safety. Repeatedly I found lies and exploitation were the norm. Trying to find a way to make my own way was eventually technically homeless. But relied first on family and later my status as a veteran to never be forced to live on the streets. 

Have documented much here. Have under label: struggle.

We work for many reasons where is not just about surviving but also thriving. Our systems are deliberately broken. Am working now to fix them.

Doing human right

Why paying properly is doing human right.

Am glad realized should be more open about my own personal financial situation, as have been financially stressed in ways where I think sharing publicly helps me figure things out, and may help others.

Where web has been a great place for me in stunning ways, where often talked a global attention reality, but more and more focused on the lack of revenue puzzle. Well lack of revenue, was a daily reality; while needing to eat, pay bills and have a place to stay is too, and not surprisingly ended up technically homeless.

Put it that way to indicate was not on the streets homeless, where so many people tragically are, and struggle with the most basic things, like not just how to eat or keep warm on cold days and night, but how to find bathrooms. Where when they don't? Or can't? Can become a serious public as well as personal problem, like in San Francisco, where the subject is gripping the news there. When crap is a big problem for your city, maybe you're not doing human right.

But am in Georgia, USA, which is in the Deep South and is the state where I grew up! Came back here from San Francisco back in early 2012 because figured was obvious to go back to more familiarity.

Will not recap things talked out in other blog posts, but more recently will note, came to Macon, from a homeless program for veterans out of Dublin at the VA hospital there. And one of the FIRST things did, within first month got here? I contacted an organization better known by its acronym called VECTR, which is in Warner Robins, GA. Talked to someone who helped me with my resume, but I explained really wanted to talk my web things...like I have an open source product with annual downloads routinely at 100+ countries. Well she said I should come there and talk. I had no way...went to other things.

Eventually DID get to VECTR though, when driven by a veteran who the Salvation Army had hired, as was living in a shelter. THAT person at VECTR who I'd previously contacted, so many months prior, had left by then. And they had no record of my resume. Ok. Easy enough to give new. But yeah, was STILL emphasizing needed talking out on this global thing with the web! Eventually was convinced maybe needed more school, and reluctantly signed up for a class on computer networking which would also importantly lead to a certification. Then was told the instructor wasn't available, and had been signed up for another course: heating and air technician.

Let's digress. After American slavery there was a HUGE population of former slaves who were now looking to get work and get on with that pursuit of happiness we Americans prize so highly, am sure. But they'd been left out in the cold by the US federal government which left them at the mercy of the former slaveowners. And I don't think those folks were interested in doing human right, or in doing human beings right.

We know they terrorized that population, intimidated them into not voting as much as they could, or wrote laws restricting, and not surprisingly, were NOT exactly about paying well.

Deliberate underpay is a brutal way of human psychological torture, but requires: people actually take a job which pays beneath their skills.

Population of people freed from slavery? At your mercy when you have none? Needing jobs? Well those former slaveowners would learn LOTS back then, working on them, with people under huge pressure to take any job offered. The psychological warfare techniques do, I admit, impress me. I study them too, you know? But back to subject of work.

Well I have a degree in physics, am a software developer with an open source project used around the globe. Could conceivably be making millions but realistically at a base should be making six figures. But feel like need to figure out this web thing, you know? So liken it to getting a law degree, while law is still relentlessly evolving, but there are no law schools, so you have to research first, build your own curriculum, and then teach, yourself.

Yeah I do like a challenge. Is actually going well, I think. But oh yeah, there is that lack of revenue.

Back to my situation then as was a bit stunned. Heating and air technician? But was in a Salvation Army shelter where had been for MONTHS, and besides, was kind of curious. Decided would roll with it. So went into the heating and air course, not surprisingly was top student, got a scholarship, got a car and ended up on television.

Fascinating.

Then was talking to a LOT of friendly heating and air business owners, many of whom were very politely noting my physics degree from Vanderbilt University, like sensible people. I noted to a person at VECTR and got pushback. Tell them was a long time ago, she said.

Today governments are finally recognizing the brutal human cost of deliberate underpay. But I have wondered about civil rights movements: how could not have focused on not allowing what is in essence part-time slavery by letting people pay you only for so much work, so the rest is FREE, so they pocket the difference? You're psychologically brutalized as you've been cheated. And maybe they come to workplace one day with yet another flashy new car, your pay helped them get.

Black people in the US should be the LEAST underpaid population in the country, given the brutal history of this nation. But people have to be taught about all that, eh? So why wasn't I? That's ok, I figured it out on my own.

Slavery was and is as modern slavery tragically exists, a parasitic human enterprise. 

Those slaveowners were human parasites who FED off the effort of human beings. Can assure you that parasitic humans do not do human right. 

Might help explain the relentlessness of labor laws trying to push employers not to do things like rape their employees? And how well has that worked, eh? Consider American entertainment industry and recent revelations.

As have noted before, we need to face the legacy of American slavery. And yes, my search for revenue, continues. Still am figuring out this web thing. Is like am polishing up my curriculum, while pondering my only student, me, he's struggling a bit, while research continues as web—just keeps changing. Ok.

When support tests relationships

Am in a unique position appreciate more and more. My major stressor for over a decade has been trying both to handle global attention as revealed by third party sources like Google, Twitter and Pinterest though web analytics, but also to appreciate my own mental fragility in certain areas.

Before did glide along as like to say, with a sense of handling things and taking care of myself as a very independent person, while feeling frustrated with my wariness in relationships.

And THOUGHT was more advanced in talking sexual abuse by two teenage girl babysitters when was 5.

But was shocked to get massive relief recently by FINALLY talking being beaten till I bled by my father when was 6. Where concluded was legacy slave training, which afflicts a population in the US not facing a brutal legacy.

Can be difficult to explain my mental things I think, even to myself. Feel like is against my training to properly accept. And now have come up with an analogy I find useful and will share as think will probably use a lot if really works well.

Like imagine a runner, who develops a hairline fracture in one or both legs, and GOES TO a doctor, who diagnoses it, and gets a treatment plan, which includes plenty of leg rest. But that runner's family? Gets tired of that person lying around and suggests is actually lazy...why not running like in the past? (Even though doing OTHER things MASSIVE with global reach, just not...running while legs are healing.)

And let us say that person exhausts family support and goes to others. And gets shocked at times, by a jolt, from some people supposedly helping trying to jolt into a run!!! Turns out? These people are looking at the person and are like, they don't see anything wrong.

Ok, well doctor...they don't believe in doctors, or any of that nonsense...they just know when people don't want to work! Or, um run. And this analogy begins to stretch credulity with PHYSICAL concerns.

But how many may know people who do NOT believe in mental health concerns? Maybe do not believe in any of it, think is all a way for lazy people to get over or, maybe think they just need religion? Or something else wacky?

So they PUSH and can happen that there is some break, as a person in mental and emotional AGONY, can respond like someone who has a hairline fracture in their legs being pushed into running all out, by others who refuse to care.

Am lucky though. As I process through my situation am more into leveraging it as well. And more into having no pity: if you are supposed to help people and refuse to accept medical diagnosis? Then I have no problem with that not working out well for you.

As get useful medical care, and continuing support thanks to being a veteran, and thanks to Bibb County, through Macon Housing Authority, appreciate the simplest thing: support that has the goal of real recovery.

Have run into people who clearly prefer to play games with other people's lives. And I'm like, ok.

We will witness, where we are the world, how that works out for you.

Which to me is a promise of transparency and as well as I can, best process.

Public works better for both. And in my opinion, is far safer too.


James Harris

When you value your work

Have wanted to be a writer since was a kid, and should also add, after a short story as a child amazed adults around me. And luckily for me, am much into learning what something can take, and long ago learned to read a LOT, and very importantly--gather life experiences.

Which can be an excuse for the road not usually traveled often, but also can mean that you take for granted that making money can become a problem. Where also long ago accepted might not ever make a living as a writer. And for that reason and others, appreciate that I have a LOT of job related skills and like to think value doing a good job.

So when a burst of activity pushing trying to make a living with my own things, like my writing failed, and ended up evicted and in a homeless shelter, part of me was like, ok. But also was EXTREMELY disappointed as am used to succeeding at things when exert MAXIMUM effort. And I did try, very hard. Making money with my things still eludes me.

After months in the homeless shelter where being a veteran allowed that to even happen as they had started up a program for veterans, there was an opportunity opened up. I could go to VECTR center in Warner Robins, GA, USA, and get more help as a veteran. And thankfully was taken there.

Told them my story. And was reluctantly convinced more schooling could help and talked into a class on networking which would lead to CISCO certification. Was like, ok, well at least is in IT. But still, have a DEGREE in physics and have worked as a software developer AND have a current open source software product used all over the world. But hadn't figured out how to make money. Where was increasingly more suspicious--was something else going on with ME maybe?

But signed up for it, and then was told instructor wasn't available. And THEN was signed up for heating and air, and was like, huh? But what could I do? Had been in a homeless shelter for months, and became convinced of a new plan: would pick up new job skills so could at least make money and support myself.

Which made sense to me as want to be a writer, and would just be yet another move down a path that might not seem obvious to others, and could gather more life experiences. So I rolled with it.

Not surprisingly to me the classwork was easy for me, so was a top student, but have a degree in physics from Vanderbilt University, so was like...duh. But lead to all kinds of things including a car and was very grateful, but also lead to housing from Macon Housing Authority.

And then realized also had some mental things going on that needed addressing. But the pressure was on to work, and with help, ended up actually working in the heating and air industry, which lasted for just under two months.

Am proud of the work I did. Consider that heating and air means as one business owner emphasized: workers are going in when those things are NOT working.

Like in Georgia, USA, can mean stunning heat, like going into hot attics where person is IMMEDIATELY drenched in sweat. Or in winter can deal with stunning cold.

Is actually a highly skilled profession too, where can be doing important electrical work in those conditions. And requires a basic level of ability at about the level of an entry level construction worker, including facility with a variety of hand tools. Luckily for me at least was good with a portable electric drill, which is used so much is like a third hand.

Here's a picture of my impact driver:

Love those things. Oh and got an idea from that removable battery it has--why not hotload electric buses? Bus with a low battery could roll in to depot, battery is switched out, and bus could immediately roll on. Have NO idea if that is already done or not, but like to just toss ideas out there.

But yeah was still definitely a newbie and was AMAZED at very patient teaching from technicians who were more patient and dedicated in explaining things to ME than I have ever been on the job. And guess it partly has to do with the reality they face: LOTS of turnover.

Was told often had to try to work with people with even fewer skills than I had, which amazed me.

But also worth noting something else I found out VERY odd and disturbing: when talked about going into heating and air with other veterans? Was stunned to often find they had also received training in it, but were they still doing it? No.

Is like is some go-to field for trying to introduce struggling people. Um, is an all-weather field that requires rugged individuals who can lift often heavy air conditioning equipment. Lugged quite a few rather heavy bulky items up stairs with sometimes one or more technicians helping.

That is NOT for everyone. And why try to shoehorn so many veterans into one area? And how does that impact reception in that industry?

People I interacted with were often amazing and got along well with them--except for TWO people who lead to me getting fired. Which was ok really. (Yeah write that. But yeah who likes being fired? I don't.) Had begun to really wonder about that path, like when was on a construction site on some beams looking down at the distant floor.

How could people supposedly working to help veterans be so casual with what it might take for any particular veteran to do a job?

And I think is just not really considering the details. Feel like they just know is an open field, which needs LOTS of people, where pay is good. Which to them is enough. It should not be.

In my case though realized, had other important things to work on, with my mental health, and a unique opportunity, which could not pass up. And now? Feel immensely better and really is about Macon Housing Authority. Where yeah that is including mental health care. And has been far better than support from the VA. Maybe VA should talk to them for guidance on better.

Sadly after the publicity was done, which included a LOT of television appearances, readily admit distanced myself from VECTR staff. Sure they were VERY helpful in ways, like helping me with food and money.

But more I talked mental health? More I realized was a subject NOT welcome. And when the pressure to just continue to some other job after lost that first one was relentless? I simply pushed away. Thank God.


James Harris

Going well where matters most

Am still amazed at support am getting from Macon Housing Authority. Was a key thing for me last year getting a housing voucher, which lead to me staying at a place which is very supportive for people with mental concerns.

After my short stint working in the field of heating in air which I talked in this post was a bit surprised to find myself going through a healing phase.

And should add the work was for the most part a great experience even if a brief time. Met a lot of great folks, including talking to more than one person surprised was going into the field at THIS point in my life.

Most of the folks were half my age and will put out there that if you have the skills is an area where you can come from a lot of different backgrounds.

Well I have lots of skills but they also include coding for computers, and lots of other IT including tech support. And have been an office worker my entire life. Felt really like something went wrong with direction which talked in my post where acknowledged financial challenges remain.

Support staff with Macon Housing Authority though--have been life savers.

And things are going well now and they are helping me address more things! Will admit had been wary about going to them, having had a lot of bad experiences in the past--when felt like people were not really listening. And discussed that in THIS post where was specific to VA, where things have gotten better too.

Also found myself thinking of a post from YEARS ago: Thoughts on my story

Where talked how ended up with highest SAT of my graduating class. And yeah went on to Vanderbilt University, where got my degree in physics. And I like to talk about my story. But had some people decide, and I mean DECIDE I should be a heating and air technician and apply a LOT of pressure on me. And have to wonder. What do they think they know better than I do?

Is like am talking to people not really listening. With no concept of consequences either, which I find odd. Am a VERY public person, you know?

Like an example of what I mean about NOT listening to me? Repeatedly have had suggestions to work for the federal government, as gives priority to veterans. Well I don't want to work for the federal government and AM outspoken with our current president. Here is an example:

@POTUS Am confident you were NOT raised by wolves. Or course if you wish to poop wherever, run around without clothes and howl at the Moon?

Maybe can go live in the woods anyway like a wolf.

But if wish to live in cities with your fellow humans? 

Then you need to follow RULES.

Here is link to that tweet on Twitter. And I really like that tweet. I think it is extremely on point, and also rather clever--confident not raised by wolves? Ok. So what's this nonsense about ME working for the US Government?

Closing in on a year since was given a car and not surprisingly there is follow-up interest. Am thinking my story shows the reality of coming back from struggle, where progress can be in fits and starts, and focus on COMPLETE health, is the priority. Complete health of course includes mental health, and glad to be able to publicly admit--am working on mine.

Been editing this post and that will continue. But feel like left off something should address--greater difficulty in talking mental health in Black Community. Where have a dark explanation, which is MINE, and wish to emphasize.

But is like where noted in a previous post was shocked to learn that whipping could kill an adult from shock if that adult had never been whipped. And yeah, to me should be common sense that American slavery could have lasting consequences. And like, what would happen to a severely mentally ill slave?

Do not think have ever noticed that discussed. Am confident would not end up in a mental asylum, and you cannot beat someone out of mental illness--only makes worse. And cannot just talk out of it either, so my suspicion is that they were simply killed. Could be wrong, would like to know if there is anything from historians on this subject. But if so, yeah that could explain a learned reticence among slaves to talk mental problems which continued after slavery ended over 150 years ago.

There is a reality today that begs for explanation and think American slavery can reasonably be suspected to have much to do with it.

Mental health is part of complete health and should not be a source of shame when a person needs medical care in that area any more than needed medical care for physical problems.

For all we know, for a long time for a slave, mental illness could have been a death sentence, and if so, the community would have worked hard to hide for as long as possible. And yeah there is speculation there, but if is correct that needs to be addressed so can be dropped.  Slavery ended over 150 years ago will repeat, but Black Community cannot end its influence if not facing all it might have inflicted upon its victims.

We can face the truth.


James Harris

Here I go again

Update Oct. 6th: Still have web, thank God. Things are still in progress though. But working on my mental health with greatest focus? Priceless.

Update 11:29 EST: Cox Cable gave me till October 5th to pay full balance, without service interruption. Good people there.

Well things were looking up in ways, but then again, was still troubled with how things were working out. Talked here about how using programs supposed to help veterans lead to me being evicted for the first time in my life.

In a shelter for MONTHS the plan ended up being me getting more training, even though I have a degree in physics from Vanderbilt University and currently have an open source software program used around the world, and can do technical support in IT.

Well I rolled with it, as what could I do? Stay in a shelter? And the FIRST suggestion was training for networks, and then that fell through and was enrolled in a course for heating and air. Ok. What could I do? (Wondered to myself, bait and switch?)

I rolled with it, and decided to make the best of it. With stable income figured could get back to my goals eventually as realized really like to write. And was given a car and ended up all over television and it did seem like destiny then.

Well despite me doing my best the heating and air position I got, didn't last. Ended up fired in less than two months, which wasn't fun either. However had made enough money to give me some time to plan, I thought.

Consistently though, supposed help guides me away from what I want to do. And as more recently pondered 100 degree Fahrenheit heat while was in air conditioning comfort, was thinking: I could be OUT there in that, and why? My most financially valuable skill sets and interests are in different areas. Am listening to the wrong people? Think so.

(Should note a different perspective on people who routinely work in VERY hot or otherwise distressed conditions maintaining or repairing heating and air conditioning equipment! Will never take them for granted again.)

And, realized was not a minor thing. Turned 50 this year and have people supposedly trying to help me, trying to get me STARTED in a career where most people are half my age, where often would be in broiling heat?

Maybe not really my friends, eh? And went back to them as needed a bit of help, and got NOTHING. Which did surprise me.

The car? Well, I can't pay for gas now. And USAA is going to cancel my insurance. And am typing fast as Cox Cable gave me a disconnect notice earlier. (Now have more time as noted above.)

But am upbeat. Need to take direction of my own life and forget job help for veterans. Still need the other help though. Thankfully Macon Housing Authority has me in a place where have no rent--so thank God, no eviction threat THIS time. And am getting mental health services through Bibb County and VA, which is a godsend. Yeah mentally am feeling better than have in a LONG time.

So all is worth it. Finally got help that has helped IMMENSELY there at least.

But having people NOT listen to me and guide me into very life changing directions which could literally be like Hell on Earth? Am very sensibly done with that. And is sad. Is not really helpful when people are not listening to you.

Have tons of skills and should have lots of options with guidance, but people have to listen, and actually help. Well am old enough to not cry over the past and to appreciate lessons learned.

Will get past these latest struggles, and get to better control over my life.


James Harris

Truth, belief and facts considered

Having people believe you can seem so basic, until it becomes hard. And for years now did not realize the devastating impact on me until finally had someone at the VA who simply did not dismiss or ignore facts. And have been open about seeking out mental health. It is a great thing. And appreciate that my status as a veteran means can get it, but what good if you are not believed?

In my case of course now it seems obvious that finding out have things that pull attention from 100+ countries might have an impact, including anxiety. Where also, yeah, if you are talking to a person who pulls that kind of attention that can impact you as well.

And yeah, have thought about wanting some of these VA folks to go before US Congress and testify about how they could ignore CHECKABLE facts from veterans, like myself, and then proceed as if those were irrelevant, even when pushed.

Like with me, web was dismissed--over and over and over again, until now. And feel like maybe am talking more freely because finally got a therapist who was accepting rather than dismissive and rejecting. And make no mistake, when am talking about prior people with VA dismissing the web they were not nice about it really. I'd get the feeling like they thought I was an idiot or was just lazy or lived in a fantasy world. And what could I do?

And yeah, to the US Congress I think part of reforming the VA is checking with veterans as to whether or not FACTS with regard to them are believed or DISMISSED by VA providers. From my talks with other veterans I think it is a huge and outrageous problem, where if a VA person doesn't feel comfortable or interested with a FACT in YOUR case then can just bizarrely proceed--as if does not exist.

You have to believe in people. How can you help someone if you refuse to show you believe in them in important ways? In my experience, you cannot. And found was not helped, as my problems continued.

Seems simple to me: how about a simple question for veterans like myself as to whether feel like checkable facts have been carefully noted and actually considered when elevated as important.

Like in my case is easy enough to web search. Search on: Class Viewer.

There is a website on SourceForge which should come up on any search engine. Comes up on all the ones I try. And you can click on, go to download stats, and shift to annual, like look at 2018.

Just did that for THIS post and there were downloads from 105 countries last year. Last one listed is Qatar.

IF you had something pulling attention from over 100 countries annually, and had a sense that getting that RIGHT was important how would you feel if some VA staffer supposedly helping you not only DISMISSED but refused to even check?

I've been infuriated. And make no mistake, maybe some of them will end up in front of the US Congress trying to explain if I can make it happen. I think would be great for the VA, great for veterans to get taken seriously--ALWAYS, and great for our country.

And hey, now kudos to the VA as have someone now helping me who DOES take me seriously, so can end on a positive. Right now desperately need that help. But when I hear about veterans who...just too many sad stories and am not surprised. I wonder who in the VA was not really listening with them.


James Harris

Progress, setback, and thoughts on proper planning

Have realized probably have a responsibility to continue my story having shared so much already, where am glad I have. And think part of that responsibility is to community as am still relying much on substantial community support.

One good thing that DID happen was got a job in the heating and air industry, which lasted under two months, but am certain was a net positive. (Did help my perspective to watch the documentary Fired! from 2007, where Annabelle Gurwitch with some comedy handles that weighty subject.)

So yeah GOT a job thankfully--where was entry level as a helper, and was using NONE of the training had received before as was primarily work installing air conditioning and heating systems. My training was primarily on service. But was ok at first. Am handy with power tools and could handle moving around a construction area. Still was disconcerting at times being in the rafters wondering how I got there.

Am 49 years old. Have been an office worker my entire life. Even in the military worked in big hospitals and NOT in the field. Still I think I DID manage ok. But yeah, got fired so here is bit more on that story as worked with mostly a great group of folks. And got a LOT of help from very patient and knowledgeable people trying to train a newbie. But also ran into trouble with exactly TWO people who were, let's say relentlessly hostile.

With one reported to a manager, which just made him madder. And fired up the other who went over the line and I reported him to HR. And was to meet with the HR person in the morning the next day. But that morning before that meeting, got called in by the manager and told was fired. Ok, so enough there.

Good news is got a good introduction into the heating and air industry which was more complete and yeah, could actually hold my own. And noticed could handle the other things basic to a job, like showed up always on time and was never late. Worked hard the entire time, as was a point of pride for me which was glad to know had kept. It felt good to be working again, while it lasted.

Also did get some paychecks which gives me some room for proper planning for the next steps. Where yeah, good planning should work better. Was glad for the opportunity but felt rushed into getting ANYTHING before. Now can take more time and plan better.

Oh yeah, so why do I even need to go into another industry when have a degree in physics and experience as a software developer? Good question. More and more am wondering about some of my decision-making and yup, am looking to rely more on others. Reality is haven't really tested potential of my degree or full work experience because of the other things, which I used to like to call the wacky.

So yeah, am better at realizing that knowing have a web reach of 100+ countries EVERY single year is something need to fully understand. And yeah, am being correct that is a business risk for others.

For those who wonder, yeah I have on my resume for that reason. But don't think it necessarily registers with people for some reason. Best guess is: web is so new! There isn't framework maybe to process that information for most? Yeah considering am struggling with it myself, but also am at the center of the storm is how I like to put it. Is hard for me to get outsider perspective.

The web has introduced so many unknowns.

And at least am beyond thinking can just ignore certain facts. Even being potentially known in over 100 countries is not something you can just ignore. Duh. But I have tried before.

And why would I? Because so far so much of it is mysterious as have talked here, or contrary to my expectations, and especially so far, seems bizarrely distant from me making MONEY so it can be infuriating as well.

But you gotta pay the bills, you know? Yeah, of course you do. We all do, one way or another or somebody has to for us. And I need to be back fully in charge.

Oh, yeah, but that 100+ number comes from my open source software project Class Viewer. Which is a tool for Java developers so also there is that comfort that am providing community support myself.

And have plenty of things shared, like here! Where like to think is helpful for our world.

Yeah it is odd to realize that from objective evidence, not my fantasy but data from others, have that global reach.

The exposure at this level is also something has to be considered. Thankfully recent experience let me compare local press coverage exposure as have talked here (here's a link to a video), so can try to get a better handle that way too now.

It IS so very new the reality we have. The web has changed so much.

And guess I get to be one of the pathfinders out here which have noted before. Challenges? Ok. Will handle as best I can. Figure things out as fast as I can, and just keep plugging at it.

Still like that analogy to being like working on a law degree. But like where the changes are continuous, and you're creating the curriculum, testing yourself, and few people recognize it.

But more people are, am sure.


James Harris

Work and our more connected modern reality

Was 15 when first got a job through a program in the state of Georgia, USA, for disadvantaged youth. Where my family most of my life had been lower middle-class, but a divorce had changed everything. Then experienced life in a poor family.

That first job was helping state forestry workers. Was 40 hours a week. They would work to find things for me and the other teenagers to do. Was minimum wage, of course, but definitely appreciated it.

Would get work later at 16, doing the usual then for teenagers. Like worked at a grocery store doing things like bagging groceries back when that was still usually done for you. And later worked at a fast food place. And graduated high school, and went on to college with a full tuition scholarship to Vanderbilt University, where did work-study there.

After college, completely my fault though 1991 was considered a difficult year for gaining employment got my degree without immediate employment. And I decided felt like enlisting in the US Army which turned into a great decision. Though was much from mixed reasons though yes, wanting to serve my country was one of them. Had been drawn to the US military by a movie remarkably enough. Watched Flight of the Intruder over and over again. But though movie was about people in US Navy was not keen on being on boats.

So much ponder how make decisions. So was 22 years old and made a pivotal decision as best I could with what I knew then.

Could keep going with jobs, but now reflecting as needing to find a new one, with new skills recently obtained as finishing up an accelerated course on heating and air conditioning. Where thanks to deciding to take that course, other things opened up as well thanks to community support to help me get fully back on my feet financially.

And I wonder about decisions and how we make them. So much works out for me, in time, but not necessarily the way I ever expected might. And still the questions.

Now too have better perspective about how information flows, and how some things can be not so intuitive. Like posted about receiving a car recently and that hit local television news. But routinely bump into people who never saw any of it. Is that something to share or not with a potential employer?

If you think yes, then is that really contextual to a job? If you say, no, consider that employer is likely to find out eventually, anyway. As eventually SOMEONE who DID notice that coverage is likely to bring it up as a remarkable thing! So why should they not remark?

That helps explain better I think the way the web shifts things with our modern reality.

Yes, you can have things out here where maybe some people notice but most do not. And be in a situation where it can be debatable as to whether or not to share with others in any given particular situation. Where it is likely that in time that information will get to them, regardless.

In a key post I noted how unsettled I became when found out some web things of mine were pulling attention on a global basis, without me having much guidance on how to react. Have had people ask, why would I even bring it up? And now feel like can explain better why transparency and honesty actually are not just good in general, but also are pragmatic in our web enabled world.

Which suits me. Sure can find difficulty in the moment with employment, but would rather face that squarely than have to live with myself for the rest of my life without my values. Besides have learned very much more the value of community, and the many benefits of service to community.

Life lessons at best can come with a price. There is no way how things have gone on the plus side for me to to worry too much about the negatives there have been as well.

Life has its up's and down's. Can always keep in mind am working on net positive.


James Harris

Considering vehicle of opportunity

Am glad began to talk more about the personal financial struggles here on this blog which have lead to me living in a Salvation Army shelter. Helps had already started that and trying to explain here in a very public place helps me try to figure it out myself! How did someone with my skill sets find himself with so much difficulty making money?

Here also is the place to talk how the web has been so much a part of that as if reading, you can wonder yourself, how did you get here? How do you even know about me on a planet of billions where more and more people are coming online? How are YOU reading here?

Oh yeah, so the update is that yesterday was the recipient of a car, at Geico in Macon, GA, USA. And also now have a Section 8 voucher, where was prioritized as a veteran which is my key to getting out of the shelter. All received as part of programs to help needy people as transportation can be so important, and yeah for me is a vehicle of opportunity. Already talked in a post learning new skills at VECTR and amazing things keep happening, through that facility.

And should mention required a LOT of service organizations where a primary was United Way through a program called Mission United. And Macon Housing Authority did quite a bit as well.

Organizations that are doing as much as they can and working hard to figure out more, and good when can connect with folks like at Geico, and to me now is that need for it all to work out GREAT.

Is kind of ironic to me as well, as not surprisingly, as received a car, there was local media present. So my FIRST television interview was yesterday and to me, was not really about me. Was about opportunity and a nation dedicated to figuring out how to take care of veterans in need.

Which is a great thing.

We have a nation with massive resources and a lot of great people who really want to help. And is a matter of figuring out how. So am grateful for more opportunity with a sense of the responsibility there as well.

Better perspective now too on when is good to have a personal blog, for really permanent public information that can be relevant to others. Am completely in charge of content here and nothing is being coordinated with others.

There is no way HERE that I would have it any other way.

Is great that control which is telling. My public self is my responsibility.

Web is such a new thing, and am working to figure it out.

Amazes me still how you can have people, maybe a very few really, know of you ALL over the globe, and wonder what that signifies. Yet so much important is about the people in front of you, where you need to work, and how you will get around.

Tomorrow is Veterans Day, and our nation has a lot showing the appreciation for the service of so many who are the reason we have a nation today. And I am appreciative as well, and glad to be counted as one, where active duty military service was over two decades ago. From the age of 22 to 27, served my country in the US Army, primarily at medical centers.

And that younger me, took care of older me without any clue how that was also getting included. Sure I knew I would get that status of veteran but there was no thought in my mind of needing it as I have lately.

Reality is bigger than us all. And also yes, I do thank God for so much I barely understand that somehow works out, without any expectations there beyond knowing must be part of something far greater than me.

So yeah, now literally have a vehicle of opportunity, and a responsibility with it. So much still up to me to get done as get to steady income which is the one thing still must have to be back to fully being able to take care of myself.

Just sat down this morning to get some things down and maybe will edit a bit. For ANY of those organizations mentioned or people associated with them, if have ANY concerns about things put down here, please let me know. Or any concerns whatsoever, I want to know.

We have a new kind of public now which am working to figure out.


James Harris

Better when reality is checked

These days seems less remarkable to me to state that finding out web things of mine were pulling interest from more than 100 countries was disconcerting. For years struggled more silently in ways on the subject while have talked various ways on my blogs, like here.

Main thing is just seems so weird. And did not connect with what I knew or thought I knew of what are consequences around such a thing, how it happens, or what it signifies. Now I know that I just didn't know much that was true and problematically people lie a LOT in this area.

Like I discovered most of what I thought I knew about people often called celebrities--was a fiction. And a deliberate fiction for money-making purposes, which now am like, ok.

For me though the facts are where things matter especially checkable facts. Where have reached out for help, like as a veteran, and trot out something like being potentially known in over 100 countries and have had that information ignored.

Well I think the US Congress needs to get a clue and direct federal agencies to update to the 21st century, please. And specifically top to bottom all federal employees are to accept that objective factual reality when presented to a federal employee especially when that can impact the nation as a whole if ignored that can be grounds for termination.

Actually, I think it already is.

To me the main problem is: people who really are not listening to those they are supposed to help where am in a unique position to show how dramatic that can be.

That is very sad but consequences are very real, like with veterans not being helped in the best way.

Am in a much better mood as contemplate lessons learned and was good to go back to school as have done if only to remind myself of what I can do. Also struck me that learning technology around air conditioning and heating makes sense in a world where climate change may make such technology a matter of life and death. Someone like me needs to understand it thoroughly.

Where do I go from here? Right now am still in school but yeah, still need an income. And would happily work doing things like repairing home air conditioning, if only to stay away from the responsibilities of my position earned by the knowledge I have gained.

Part of me is like yeah, and another part of me is like, really?

Get stuck on that reality: can put up things that pull global interest and should maximize potential in good ways. Maybe now am less worried as well about other things where quite frankly, so-called celebrities were just freaking liars. Which is not to dismiss celebrity itself or ALL folks with the celebrity label.

Was just surprised by some checking of the reality found could do. And lots of times there definitely was a fiction created for promotional purposes. And in some cases, yeah felt was dealing with total fakery. But is an opinion.

Definitely am a fan of plenty.

Oh yeah, so how can someone reality check me? Is easy. So have multiple things that pull interest from over 50 countries. But these days my open source software project is the one thing that is routinely showing around 100. So far this year is only 98 countries though according to stats on SourceForge which I just checked.

How can you check me? On any search engine you can search: class viewer

If you go to the SourceForge site you should see downloads. Doing it myself I see 33 this week. Click on those stats and I see 430 downloads for quarter with 19% from the US. Click on countries and I scroll down to see that was from 65 countries. Time period is from July 15 through October 13.

So yeah, 65 countries in last 90 days. You can change the dates to do other things like I checked year to date to get that 98 countries.

Where reference much as is readily available information to the public and is where the total countries are most dramatic. The open source project itself is just a basic tool for Java developers which I put up on SourceForge back in 2004. Why is it still downloaded from so many countries? Guess is still useful.

Such simple facts, easily checkable, and what do they mean exactly? Well for any government worker you have verification of my global status. And if you ignore? What is wrong with you?

And why do you think you should still continue working for the federal government if because you ignore facts about me, you cannot truly help me? And THAT is your JOB?

We are in the 21st century now. Am past tired of having to deal with people who act as hostile gatekeepers because they work for our federal government yet refuse to properly acknowledge the web.

So they cannot help me.

There is just so much for me to learn have realized. Where really am kind of in a school for the web with lots of reasons to figure things out, where that has been true for well over a decade.

As gain more working knowledge of my particular situation and of the web can use in better ways. That is a clear goal for me.


James Harris

Some recognition to ponder

Have decided it is better to share more of my personal life including some recent struggles as try to get back to having a steady income. So felt a need to talk some recent positives as well including a surprising bit of recognition, as have begun focusing on getting new skill sets for more employment options.

So first a bit of a recap. For some time have struggled with employment which I think is web related where have been trying to understand and absorb a global reality reported by web companies. Relying much on community have been fortunate that my veterans status also means get help for that reason.

Talked much in detail about circumstances around a recent eviction and turns out was able to go to a Salvation Army shelter. Recently a veteran was hired as an employee there focused on helping veterans, who has been introducing to the Georgia Veterans Education Center Transition Resource Center, which is more succinctly called: VECTR

And there have been able to get training.

Also thankfully there is support through the Workforce Innovation and Opportunity Act, commonly called WIOA, which is paying for that training.

Where have been thankful for the opportunity, and recently was the first recipient of a scholarship created by his friends for a very distinguished national person.  That person is General Alfred G. Hansen (retired), who has an incredible history of distinguished service to the United States.

And he came to the center with is wife, and a couple of other folks, former BellSouth president Carl Swearingen and Dr. Ivan Allen, president of Central Georgia Technical College. Wow.

Was an incredible experience for me, and definitely gave much to ponder as met some very distinguished Americans.

Who knows how much they know of my full story, though yeah definitely have been talking my story as entered the center. Had to have been told enough for me to get the scholarship, where focus is very clear. But of course I didn't bring up certain things which really weren't relevant in context.

Focus I think was best on the importance of helping our nation's veteran population.

And VECTR is a great idea for putting a lot of things in one place with very well informed people who can help military members transition well, and help veterans also. The general talked that and am sure is a primary reason both for the support and the efforts to bring interest.

Our nation can do so much and is doing LOTS for veterans, where is also important that people know what is available.

Back to my perspective, feel like regardless of so much other, main thing is: am a person who is working hard to get a full life back where income is required to accomplish that goal. And have done well in my studies so far and am committed to continuing to work hard at learning new skills and continuing on to full employment.

Where yeah, also am trying to figure out how that will work.

Where to me transparency is best. If you're working for folks they need to find out relevant things from you rather than discover them first on the web.

Think should emphasize this blog is my personal one where am completely in control of content here. And there was no coordination with any other entities for this post. However definitely want to be a positive and welcome feedback from others, especially if there are any concerns. Especially from friends of the general, people associated with Central Georgia Technical College, current and former members of the US military. Or any concerned Americans.

Figuring out our new web reality is an ongoing process. Public is VERY public here, and global. And I try to assume as little as possible. And think is important always to try to listen.

So yeah felt should talk some recent positives! Main thing I think is just to keep working to get to better outcomes. And certainly helps when have people helping immensely as long as am working hard myself.


James Harris

Facing eviction now

Looks to me like this post is complete. Will keep it up as I think there is a value in the information public. At this time do not think there will be any more updates to it.

Update April 3rd: Evicted. Now some place else. Still seems like such a waste. Did my best though. Now is on to next thing. Must figure it out. Am keeping this update calm. Am very upset. Will simply note and force myself to keep it short, and tame.

Update April 2nd: Got a reply from office of Governor Nathan Deal. Says situation is outside his authority, and should continue to work with local folks. Ok. Well at least got a reply. Now into another month and guessing eviction still working way through courts. Good news is, even if tossed out of here, have other places can go. Just wish could figure out. Am more certain web is key. But yeah, yet ANOTHER month's rent, now due.

Update March 23rd: Still in apartment! Not sure exactly why haven't been tossed out yet, but hey not complaining. And still working on things, primarily through state agencies but also trying to get my own things going. Figured should update in case there were folks concerned. Am more optimistic will figure something out now. Feel like talking it out is helping me figure things out and may help others. For me, sharing things on the web seems to work for a process, but should also state, no, not soliciting funds. But information could be great! And I just think story is important to be out there too as to how it can be with an actual situation.

Update March 21st: Nothing worked. Help appreciated! Like information, what can I do now?

Update March 14th: Got served. So now is real. And feel guilty too. Came here with the best of intentions and should have been plenty of time. The veterans programs which helped me were a lifeline and still are. However my situation puzzled me, and I think puzzled lots of government workers. Still was not a complete waste! Figured out much. And of course can easily move on from here. Just really wanted this to succeed. And government spends so much on programs like have helped me, where I think should work harder on making sure gets you to fully back on your feet. Arbitrary timelines just may not be enough for each person.

Contacted Governor Nathan Deal. Can someone in his office make sure he knows so I get through whatever person or person might push such a message to the side? Thanks.

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A really patient company has reached its limits and with me behind on the rent, eviction procedures are in place and do not blame them. The place is Creekside Vista in Macon, GA, USA and was a great find for me to be here. Like check the map for businesses within walking distance! Came out of a VA Medical Center in Dublin on a program that temporarily pays your rent! The idea being to give you enough time to get a paying job.

And have explained much in prior posts on this subject. When I got to Macon from Dublin last year in February immediately was in touch with Georgia Vocational Rehab where was lucky to have their help. Got it as a result of the state considering me disabled based on my difficulty in getting a job for so long and a review by a medical board. Not sure on the specifics, but yeah am STILL struggling with getting work with the help.

But time marches on, and yeah exhausted the time limit for the temporary rent help. Am NOW getting more job training work which is better focused from Georgia Vocational Rehab, but with this huge bill to pay for rent! And continuing bills of other kinds.

Sounds like a challenge to me, which is how am phrasing. With these kinds of situations the main thing is focus and attitude, with a certainty there is a resolution. Will figure it out.

Feel like something really weird is going on. But basic is: must have an income. So that part is easy enough. Question is--why has been so difficult to get to an income, even with professional help?

Why share here? Well talked situation before, but also have a lot from programs for veterans. And am willing to accept much fault for things not going better, but like to think am a smart guy. Do wonder what else I should have done.

My feeling is yeah, my web presence can make it harder, but should not be impossible, and there may be part of it. Web is so new, and am trying to explain to folks especially on job search focus, but still how hard should it be to explain that one?

And for veterans yeah, can be this massive thing when have gone through the programs, I guess. Who knows if others struggle with these same programs like I have, but would NOT be surprised. Like I have a degree in physics, my own open source software program and know how to code, and I like to write with a HUGE web presence. And I'm looking at a WALL which defies explanation.

Then again that huge web presence thing there. Before web? Had no problems getting a job. But still sure could make it harder but would think, not impossible. And should open other opportunities while closing others.

That is the rational thing do tell myself. So far struggling to have reality meet what I believe should be true.

Is weird. Web is new, yes. But new should actually help! Web enables so much more.

So I work at explaining. Maybe sharing my story can help others, and also might help me! What is going on here? Working to figure out can help me and others.

Is messed up though, and having exhausted family support means am looking at first time to potentially being forced onto the streets. That to me is suspicious. There is still possibly a shelter option here in Macon. Would prefer not, but may find out how deep this thing is, if find that option is actually closed.

Not interested in finding that one out. So will shift to working harder at problem solving. Maybe is time to test more.

Getting answers though will happen. That is just a matter of time as well.


James Harris

Heading towards homeless

Update Dec 1st: Thankfully situation is in reprieve as was approved for a program for veterans to prevent eviction from Volunteers of America Southeast, which is a great organization. (If have read this post before, may have noticed had them mixed up with Southwest before, but have corrected now.) Have helped me out tremendously. So have time now, but still have to get a steady income as will just help out for a bit. Leaving post up as is informative and I re-read myself to help my focus.

Update 7:20 pm: Soon after writing this post this morning, reached out to some family where had been distancing, and got a bit of help. So no longer worried about losing electricity. While the gist of situation remains the same. Family can only help, so much. Do feel better though and feel like post serves a good purpose. Main thing is must get steady income and am working hard towards that goal, relying on LOTS of community resources thankfully available. And wish to emphasize DO appreciate that very much! Paying the rent is still a big deal, so title (adjusted a bit) still applies.

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In an apartment in Macon, GA, USA now with electricity which will soon be gone. Is just days away, as know Georgia Power WILL cut off electricity when the bill goes overdue. But how did I get here?

Like now to trace back to October 2010 when found out was being laid off, after finally putting my photo on the web. One of small batch of same photos tend to use for profile pictures. Wondering if those photos messed me up or not. Just know have not found a job just on my own since. Was briefly placed by state of Georgia Vocational Rehab into a position at Helms Career Center here in Macon. How did I end up with them, where in Georgia means state considers me disabled?

Well that's a story. So yeah, laid off in San Francisco with a great package too by the way from large insurance company. And maybe felt yeah was related to web activity, so cleaned up a lot of web postings and focused. Thought maybe best option was to figure out how to make all this activity out here pay. And also had those web analytics! Showing visitors from around the world! Would ask myself repeatedly, am I famous? Answer always gave myself, was no.

Back then was when came up with Core Middle Party. Kind of vaguely wondering if maybe could lead to something, which it has not. And as money ran out, like here now, and desperation began to set in, realized had to leave San Francisco, so moved back to where I grew up, Tifton, GA.

Stayed with my Mom in a volatile situation with my abusive stepfather who was abusing alcohol. We all were. Up to some night I don't even remember, and woke up with scratches, apparently after a fight with my stepfather I do not remember. I quit drinking then, back July 2013. Haven't missed it. He left, abandoning my mother. He would return eventually though, after I left to go into a rehabilitation program for homeless vets at Carl Vinson VA Medical Center. Would end up going through it, twice.

I don't think they knew what to make of me. And by then I was not sure either. Kept insisting the web had something to do with things, which never went over well. Like they wanted me trying to work for the US Government. I was like, with my Twitter account? No way. I'm way too critical of the US Government, and other governments, or just about anything that crosses my mind.

Relish my freedom of speech! And also realize impacts potential employment. Confounds me how often have tried to explain to federal and state employees, trying to convince me to try and work for government. Seems to never quite register. Befuddles me much.

After leaving vet homeless program at Carl Vinson first time, ended up with my father, who was then a widower. My stepmother had died of cancer before my rehab stint. And kind of thought was helping him by staying, but also was spending most of my time on the web. Hadn't worked then since November 2010. Was relying on food stamps for my food. Spending so much time, out here, on the web. Certain had to make it pay. If could only figure it out. Still haven't figured it out though.

At some point ended up in therapy. I wanted cognitive therapy and understood family was worried. The therapist recommended at some point I contact a representative of Georgia Vocational Rehab, to help me get a job, she said. State agency requested my medical file with her reports which went to a medical review board, and state determined I was disabled for mental reasons.

My father remarried and reached a point where he ordered his new wife to call the police on me, after an intervention they called it, when I'd been ordered to simply leave the house NOW. My father tried to throw me out on a dime, saying could stay with my older brother, who lives in public housing, where could only stay for two weeks. I said no, and signed up for rehab again at Carl Vinson.

My father and stepmother wrote a letter to begin eviction procedures after police informed they could not just throw me out that way. Received it certified mail, in the house where we were now avoiding each other. And I ended up at Carl Vinson, again. Which was nice but now more unsure what to do, and had no clue at end of program when a program called VOA offered a lifeline with a program which would put me in an apartment. Lots of programs and appreciated, was so great getting a place to stay again. Apartment on verge of losing now.

They pay for rent and utilities for some months while you get your life back together. Have struggled with that last. Like mentioned Georgia Vocational Rehab placed me with Helms Career Center, which is part of Goodwill, for a bit. But that...such a frustrating story there. It SHOULD have worked out. I ended up quitting rather than having, an angry event lets say with co-workers who I know were mistreating me. But work for Goodwill, right? Goodwill actual employees must be golden, right? Who listens to the mentally ill vet? Who believes him? So left, with a pause for a lecture at the door for concerned staff about how important their work is for the community. Most they ever listened to me really, only at the end.

And found myself, yeah, working harder at trying to make the web pay. Now am just begging. Hey, want to help a vet who is going by the rules, seeking help, and desperate anyway, on verge of homeless? How about give to Volunteers of America Southeast? Their program is how have this apartment. Their website: voasoutheast.org

Contacted them and they may be able to help. Have NOT talked to them about this blog, but figure, why not give the link? If do donate, maybe could say on my behalf? Or just do it for vets in general. Seems to be a good organization. Helped me much. May help me more.

What happened to federal and state help? Well VA has offered advice, on who to contact for help! For real, you end up with a person who am sure wants to help you, listing local community resources, of which you may already be aware. Went to DFACS and signed up for rental help, and was told they would call. No call so far. That just defies reason to me. Is one thing that maybe they do not have funds or cannot help, but to have you fill out a form, and be waiting for a call that just does not arrive? Has been over 2 weeks now.

Update Dec 14: Got the call today, and was quite polite! Was a nice person and am sure they have huge lists of people to call. So no way would have been rude and told about problem at least temporarily being resolved. Also learned you have to be a month behind anyway before they can help you. So even if they had called immediately would have been told couldn't help me until this month.

Update February 16, 2018: Am feeling much better about help from various agencies. And yes, still working on things! But as long as there is progress. Still a work in progress with situation.

Actually feels good to disclose so much, and will freely edit this page as relevant information shifts what I should state here. So much on my mind for years, and yeah, situation desperate now, and where am I? On the web yet again, as if somehow will work out this time. Web is where so much happens now.

Left the US military in 1996 after 5 years of active duty, working in medical centers, so saw no combat. Was honorably discharged. Didn't even figure on ever needing VA help.


James Harris

Ringing phone reality and my vet care

As much as care for veterans and problems with it get in the news it bothers me that in my experience am still facing the most stunning problem to me in terms of access to care, which is hearing a phone ring, and ring, and ring...until you give up.

At least in the past I remember getting to an answering machine, and waiting days for a callback. That didn't even happen this time this morning.

Not someone who wants to share lots as it is my personal life and medical information is very personal but thought could talk about some things related to my experience with care through US Department of Veterans Affairs. And very much appreciate that it is there and like that changes are being made but just this morning? I made some calls and once past the auto-answer, trying to get to a person found that the phone rang, and rang, and rang, until I gave up.

But I know am looking at a peak time so will try again later as you learn strategies and the basic answer I think is, there aren't enough people available to handle the phones. Why aren't there? Because I believe the bureaucratic system in place refuses to set up a working system so that phone lines have enough people. Which is my opinion.

There ARE more options for contact though like online which are being developed but if you're a veteran in crisis? At least you repeatedly get the advice which works which is to call 911. Yup. New message with the recorded voice after the auto-answer, I think, as do notice now after the recommendation if in crisis is to call a suicide crisis line, if you are suicidal, which thankfully I don't need but I fear if I did, would I get a ring, and ring, and ring? I don't trust that I would not. I think that's new. Sadly the need is there. I'm not so sure about the support. But I am not in a position to check, thankfully. The problem with getting a human being to answer at the VA is bizarre to me.

Have debated talking more about what I see as problems with veterans care, and having been in a VA facility in the past, was lucky enough to have my curiosity satisfied somewhat, as I heard a phone ring, in an office, of a VA staffer who was really good, but overworked in my opinion. The staffer was not in the office. I heard the phone ring, and ring, and ring, until it stopped. That person, back then as was over two years ago, probably went to an answering machine.

But it was weird seeing the reality and understanding why. Just were not enough people for that phone line. The person to whom it went probably should not have been answering directly as was a counselor who needed to be working all the time with veterans. To me is a wacky system.

May talk more about the subject and what I see as the primary problem rarely discussed properly with the VA system now in place. But there is a debate with myself and a simple reason to fear talking too much as really believe could impact my care.

To me the system in place makes it very hard to talk against it. The ability for retaliation against veterans is real, and there is very little help and HUGE hurdles to get over if you are wronged. The system is definitely setup to make it hard for veterans like myself to raise the alarm. And reality is for those who need it, the VA care that you can get DOES help immensely.

I greatly value the care I receive through the VA, and hesitate to mess that up. But this post should be ok, I think.

And to update as have edited this piece a bit, did call later and promptly got to a person which is great! But to me is a lot about technique, experience as timing is important. And yeah keep trying.


James Harris