Having great news can also mean things can get more difficult in ways, which have experienced for years with a challenging situation involving global attention. And definitely sought for years as for years worked at making my own major mathematical discoveries where also now readily admit had an eye at challenging racist notions by being a major discoverer.
Well over 15 years ago managed to get published with a paper that demonstrated that you could appear to prove one thing with established mathematical ideas where you could disprove with a second argument. That is, I thoroughly demonstrated that the foundation of established mathematics was flawed and with a published paper. Have talked that situation in-depth on my math blog where here will note the chief editor deleted my paper out of the electronic edition, claiming was withdrawn when it was not. That math journal managed one more edition then shutdown, and its hosting university scrubbed its existence from its website!
Way wacky but also kind of messed up cool, eh? That was very stunning to me.
Of course one possibility had to consider was that I was just wrong. And regardless felt like wasn't much I could do, as back then was committed to getting official recognition and following the rules. And I DID follow the rules and GOT published, but hey, like I said, maybe I was wrong? (I wasn't wrong.)
Well without official recognition and help, worked on figuring it all out myself, and also figured should keep going with my math discovery. Which was a great decision! And now have verified THAT prior paper, while simplifying and doing many other things. (Like I put out the idea that entertainment is: any way to safely control your mood.)
Late 2010 decided should put up a recent picture to show was a Black guy focused on math and computers as oh yeah, also put up my open source Class Viewer back in 2004, and had found out was getting downloaded from all over the world. A bit after putting up my picture got laid off from my day-job working at an insurance company as a claims technician which involved a lot of data entry primarily of numbers--which not surprisingly I really liked!
Well had a great package with the lay-off off and saw as an opportunity to finally focus on these web things again, and decided I should just figure it out!
So focused on my global standing as went over my blogs with a different way. Weird to state but probably was first time accepted in some way that I did need to work on it, but didn't tell myself that consciously I don't think. Just felt like needed to clean things up.
Web is so new! And am sure in the future will seem incredible that I had such a debate around web stats showing global interest or have struggled as much as I have with figuring out how to monetize. But was looking at a report of 125 countries/territories visiting my math blog, as Google Analytics put it.
And remember I'd gotten a published math paper with wacky happening, and had been certain needed the math establishment to bless my results for anything to happen.
The web analytics told otherwise. But then didn't seem to connect to much useful to me and was so mysterious wasn't sure of them.
Oh yeah, so also realized that being a Black guy meant would probably end up being political if my results were accepted whether I wished that to happen or not. And was ready for it to happen as wanted to challenge American racism head-on. And came up with my own political party called Core Middle Party and posted a platform on this blog back October 2011.
Was easier coming up with an entire political party than just writing down some political concepts, and now over 7 years later is more of a template I use to guide my politics. Back then wasn't sure if might not become an actual new political party, and that really messed with my mind too.
Need I emphasize how unsettled was with much of these things? Sure I'd started wanting my own major math discovery, and found could demonstrate problem with foundations of accepted mathematics, which was not properly acknowledged. Wrote an open source computer program, which went global, but didn't seem to do much else. And settling my political ideas, ended up making up my own political party, and that was just my life.
(Oh yeah does make relationships especially challenging. Spend exhausting amounts of time on the web so hard for that reason to meet anybody and especially possibles. And even if I did get out more, can you imagine trying to explain these things to an interested woman? Would she stay interested? Seems to me so much like a muddled mess. So am not surprised have also ended up being relentlessly single.)
While meanwhile needed an income. And have talked much of the struggles there. But am looking at much news now of people who reached highly, but couldn't back it up with solid. Would rather do it my way, have that money a distant goal, than get it early and have things fall apart.
Yeah money is important, but safety is more important.
And hey, what if I DID become some major figure for Black folks before had it all settled and collapsed THEN into a muddled mess? I mean, hey, talking about foundations of MATHEMATICS have a demonstrated flaw? Could stop with just that, but there was so much more.
Yeah say for Black folks, but at this level, really is for the human species. Has taken me some time to accept that one as well. But hey, I put things up, and have from objective sources...attention from all over the world.
How'd I get here? Really? Can talk it and talk it, which helps me too. But a part of me, still wonders.
And where was the press? Where were other math people to back me up? Or any smart people to back me up?
Such questions easily can cause time to comfortably fly by, which is ok with me, now. If weren't for struggles making a living would be much calmer with it.
Looking at the news and paying close attention to people getting in trouble. And realize is better to go safer, slower and carefully. So what if am struggling with money, when at my level, could be dealing with much bigger problems and after having been declared some kind of success.
Time to process is time to get to a more stable place.
And at least am past using surreal all the time. For a bit kept going on and on about how was all so surreal. Is real. Is my life and so much of it is really great news. Just have to process is all.
Still, do have to worry about my global standing. Have come up with a simple set of phrases to help me:
One planet. Many peoples. One human species.
Finally, belatedly maybe talk more boldly about being a major discoverer, and even came up with what I think is a cool functional title: meta innovator
Am a 21st century major discoverer, and guess is not surprising things would be rather wild. Actually think is really cool am a Black guy. Have thought would have been great if a woman had my discoveries too, but think is just great someone from left field, you could say, did.
So gets to be me and more and more, am rolling with it. Oh yeah, so yeah, there is risk with this position why have to focus on my global standing! With attention from all over planet Earth, have to do my best to be responsible, and present well.
James Harris
