Here I go again

Update Oct. 6th: Still have web, thank God. Things are still in progress though. But working on my mental health with greatest focus? Priceless.

Update 11:29 EST: Cox Cable gave me till October 5th to pay full balance, without service interruption. Good people there.

Well things were looking up in ways, but then again, was still troubled with how things were working out. Talked here about how using programs supposed to help veterans lead to me being evicted for the first time in my life.

In a shelter for MONTHS the plan ended up being me getting more training, even though I have a degree in physics from Vanderbilt University and currently have an open source software program used around the world, and can do technical support in IT.

Well I rolled with it, as what could I do? Stay in a shelter? And the FIRST suggestion was training for networks, and then that fell through and was enrolled in a course for heating and air. Ok. What could I do? (Wondered to myself, bait and switch?)

I rolled with it, and decided to make the best of it. With stable income figured could get back to my goals eventually as realized really like to write. And was given a car and ended up all over television and it did seem like destiny then.

Well despite me doing my best the heating and air position I got, didn't last. Ended up fired in less than two months, which wasn't fun either. However had made enough money to give me some time to plan, I thought.

Consistently though, supposed help guides me away from what I want to do. And as more recently pondered 100 degree Fahrenheit heat while was in air conditioning comfort, was thinking: I could be OUT there in that, and why? My most financially valuable skill sets and interests are in different areas. Am listening to the wrong people? Think so.

(Should note a different perspective on people who routinely work in VERY hot or otherwise distressed conditions maintaining or repairing heating and air conditioning equipment! Will never take them for granted again.)

And, realized was not a minor thing. Turned 50 this year and have people supposedly trying to help me, trying to get me STARTED in a career where most people are half my age, where often would be in broiling heat?

Maybe not really my friends, eh? And went back to them as needed a bit of help, and got NOTHING. Which did surprise me.

The car? Well, I can't pay for gas now. And USAA is going to cancel my insurance. And am typing fast as Cox Cable gave me a disconnect notice earlier. (Now have more time as noted above.)

But am upbeat. Need to take direction of my own life and forget job help for veterans. Still need the other help though. Thankfully Macon Housing Authority has me in a place where have no rent--so thank God, no eviction threat THIS time. And am getting mental health services through Bibb County and VA, which is a godsend. Yeah mentally am feeling better than have in a LONG time.

So all is worth it. Finally got help that has helped IMMENSELY there at least.

But having people NOT listen to me and guide me into very life changing directions which could literally be like Hell on Earth? Am very sensibly done with that. And is sad. Is not really helpful when people are not listening to you.

Have tons of skills and should have lots of options with guidance, but people have to listen, and actually help. Well am old enough to not cry over the past and to appreciate lessons learned.

Will get past these latest struggles, and get to better control over my life.


James Harris