Saturday, October 12, 2019

When you value your work

Have wanted to be a writer since was a kid, and should also add, after a short story as a child amazed adults around me. And luckily for me, am much into learning what something can take, and long ago learned to read a LOT, and very importantly--gather life experiences.

Which can be an excuse for the road not usually traveled often, but also can mean that you take for granted that making money can become a problem. Where also long ago accepted might not ever make a living as a writer. And for that reason and others, appreciate that I have a LOT of job related skills and like to think value doing a good job.

So when a burst of activity pushing trying to make a living with my own things, like my writing failed, and ended up evicted and in a homeless shelter, part of me was like, ok. But also was EXTREMELY disappointed as am used to succeeding at things when exert MAXIMUM effort. And I did try, very hard. Making money with my things still eludes me.

After months in the homeless shelter where being a veteran allowed that to even happen as they had started up a program for veterans, there was an opportunity opened up. I could go to VECTR center in Warner Robins, GA, USA, and get more help as a veteran. And thankfully was taken there.

Told them my story. And was reluctantly convinced more schooling could help and talked into a class on networking which would lead to CISCO certification. Was like, ok, well at least is in IT. But still, have a DEGREE in physics and have worked as a software developer AND have a current open source software product used all over the world. But hadn't figured out how to make money. Where was increasingly more suspicious--was something else going on with ME maybe?

But signed up for it, and then was told instructor wasn't available. And THEN was signed up for heating and air, and was like, huh? But what could I do? Had been in a homeless shelter for months, and became convinced of a new plan: would pick up new job skills so could at least make money and support myself.

Which made sense to me as want to be a writer, and would just be yet another move down a path that might not seem obvious to others, and could gather more life experiences. So I rolled with it.

Not surprisingly to me the classwork was easy for me, so was a top student, but have a degree in physics from Vanderbilt University, so was like...duh. But lead to all kinds of things including a car and was very grateful, but also lead to housing from Macon Housing Authority.

And then realized also had some mental things going on that needed addressing. But the pressure was on to work, and with help, ended up actually working in the heating and air industry, which lasted for just under two months.

Am proud of the work I did. Consider that heating and air means as one business owner emphasized: workers are going in when those things are NOT working.

Like in Georgia, USA, can mean stunning heat, like going into hot attics where person is IMMEDIATELY drenched in sweat. Or in winter can deal with stunning cold.

Is actually a highly skilled profession too, where can be doing important electrical work in those conditions. And requires a basic level of ability at about the level of an entry level construction worker, including facility with a variety of hand tools. Luckily for me at least was good with a portable electric drill, which is used so much is like a third hand.

Here's a picture of my impact driver:


Love those things. Oh and got an idea from that removable battery it has--why not hotload electric buses? Bus with a low battery could roll in to depot, battery is switched out, and bus could immediately roll on. Have NO idea if that is already done or not, but like to just toss ideas out there.

But yeah was still definitely a newbie and was AMAZED at very patient teaching from technicians who were more patient and dedicated in explaining things to ME than I have ever been on the job. And guess it partly has to do with the reality they face: LOTS of turnover.

Was told often had to try to work with people with even fewer skills than I had, which amazed me.

But also worth noting something else I found out VERY odd and disturbing: when talked about going into heating and air with other veterans? Was stunned to often find they had also received training in it, but were they still doing it? No.

Is like is some go-to field for trying to introduce struggling people. Um, is an all-weather field that requires rugged individuals who can lift often heavy air conditioning equipment. Lugged quite a few rather heavy bulky items up stairs with sometimes one or more technicians helping.

That is NOT for everyone. And why try to shoehorn so many veterans into one area? And how does that impact reception in that industry?

People I interacted with were often amazing and got along well with them--except for TWO people who lead to me getting fired. Which was ok really. (Yeah write that. But yeah who likes being fired? I don't.) Had begun to really wonder about that path, like when was on a construction site on some beams looking down at the distant floor.

How could people supposedly working to help veterans be so casual with what it might take for any particular veteran to do a job?

And I think is just not really considering the details. Feel like they just know is an open field, which needs LOTS of people, where pay is good. Which to them is enough. It should not be.

In my case though realized, had other important things to work on, with my mental health, and a unique opportunity, which could not pass up. And now? Feel immensely better and really is about Macon Housing Authority. Where yeah that is including mental health care. And has been far better than support from the VA. Maybe VA should talk to them for guidance on better.

Sadly after the publicity was done, which included a LOT of television appearances, readily admit distanced myself from VECTR staff. Sure they were VERY helpful in ways, like helping me with food and money.

But more I talked mental health? More I realized was a subject NOT welcome. And when the pressure to just continue to some other job after lost that first one was relentless? I simply pushed away. Thank God.


James Harris

Monday, October 7, 2019

Going well where matters most

Am still amazed at support am getting from Macon Housing Authority. Was a key thing for me last year getting a housing voucher, which lead to me staying at a place which is very supportive for people with mental concerns.

After my short stint working in the field of heating in air which I talked in this post was a bit surprised to find myself going through a healing phase.

And should add the work was for the most part a great experience even if a brief time. Met a lot of great folks, including talking to more than one person surprised was going into the field at THIS point in my life.

Most of the folks were half my age and will put out there that if you have the skills is an area where you can come from a lot of different backgrounds.

Well I have lots of skills but they also include coding for computers, and lots of other IT including tech support. And have been an office worker my entire life. Felt really like something went wrong with direction which talked in my post where acknowledged financial challenges remain.

Support staff with Macon Housing Authority though--have been life savers.

And things are going well now and they are helping me address more things! Will admit had been wary about going to them, having had a lot of bad experiences in the past--when felt like people were not really listening. And discussed that in THIS post where was specific to VA, where things have gotten better too.

Also found myself thinking of a post from YEARS ago: Thoughts on my story

Where talked how ended up with highest SAT of my graduating class. And yeah went on to Vanderbilt University, where got my degree in physics. And I like to talk about my story. But had some people decide, and I mean DECIDE I should be a heating and air technician and apply a LOT of pressure on me. And have to wonder. What do they think they know better than I do?

Is like am talking to people not really listening. With no concept of consequences either, which I find odd. Am a VERY public person, you know?

Like an example of what I mean about NOT listening to me? Repeatedly have had suggestions to work for the federal government, as gives priority to veterans. Well I don't want to work for the federal government and AM outspoken with our current president. Here is an example:
@POTUS Am confident you were NOT raised by wolves. Or course if you wish to poop wherever, run around without clothes and howl at the Moon?
Maybe can go live in the woods anyway like a wolf.
But if wish to live in cities with your fellow humans? 
Then you need to follow RULES.
Here is link to that tweet on Twitter. And I really like that tweet. I think it is extremely on point, and also rather clever--confident not raised by wolves? Ok. So what's this nonsense about ME working for the US Government?

Closing in on a year since was given a car and not surprisingly there is follow-up interest. Am thinking my story shows the reality of coming back from struggle, where progress can be in fits and starts, and focus on COMPLETE health, is the priority. Complete health of course includes mental health, and glad to be able to publicly admit--am working on mine.

Been editing this post and that will continue. But feel like left off something should address--greater difficulty in talking mental health in Black Community. Where have a dark explanation, which is MINE, and wish to emphasize.

But is like where noted in a previous post was shocked to learn that whipping could kill an adult from shock if that adult had never been whipped. And yeah, to me should be common sense that American slavery could have lasting consequences. And like, what would happen to a severely mentally ill slave?

Do not think have ever noticed that discussed. Am confident would not end up in a mental asylum, and you cannot beat someone out of mental illness--only makes worse. And cannot just talk out of it either, so my suspicion is that they were simply killed. Could be wrong, would like to know if there is anything from historians on this subject. But if so, yeah that could explain a learned reticence among slaves to talk mental problems which continued after slavery ended over 150 years ago.

There is a reality today that begs for explanation and think American slavery can reasonably be suspected to have much to do with it.

Mental health is part of complete health and should not be a source of shame when a person needs medical care in that area any more than needed medical care for physical problems.

For all we know, for a long time for a slave, mental illness could have been a death sentence, and if so, the community would have worked hard to hide for as long as possible. And yeah there is speculation there, but if is correct that needs to be addressed so can be dropped.  Slavery ended over 150 years ago will repeat, but Black Community cannot end its influence if not facing all it might have inflicted upon its victims.

We can face the truth.


James Harris